2022 Collection
TIRED
OF ME
He is going to get tired of me.
He will wake up one day and realize that I am not what he is looking for. He may love me with the force of a thousands suns, he may enjoy my caresses and sweet words, he may drown in his recurring thoughts of a future with me and having me sticking around for a while.
But he will wake up.
He will wake up one day and realize that he will be 30 when I am barely getting my degree at 23. He will be 32 when I’ll still be yearning to put my high heels on and party with my friends in the city at 25. He will be 37 and I’ll be 30 and he will start considering kids when I don’t want to have them till I am 35.
And we will stumble, in never finding meeting points. In never being at the same life stage. No common grounds.
He will be tired of long distancing and of me sharing my time with family and friends when he wants me all to himself. Of listening to his exes and friends point out our age gap, that for him seems like a century of difference but for me is absolutely nothing.
He will be tired of me sneaking around behind my traditional father to share nights with him. Of sleeping in uncomfortable dorm beds and being surrounded by college kids.
He will be tired of watching his friends move in with partners, settling down, going steady, while I’ll be worried about my GPA and if Veronica and Alex will finally see each other.
And I am waiting, patiently, for that moment.
“You are wonderful but…this is not working for me anymore. And I wanted to be honest because that’s what we have always been to each other.”
And I will smile softly. My heart would race
and my eyes would shine with unshed tears, “I understand, love. I really do. I wish it could be mutual but the last thing I want is for you to be unhappy.”
And I’ll be sad. Cry myself to sleep and fall into the deep arms of my depression with grace. But you will never be blamed. I could never blame your kind and sweet soul for putting yourself first.
You will get tired of this, of me.